After Saturday, I felt that our children's life threatening food allergies had been the center of every planned event. I was looking forward to a quiet Sunday at home just being family. We did indeed have a wonderful morning and afternoon.
Bee was filled with mischievous giggling and infectious laughter. Our oldest little guy was his normal sweet and considerate self, waiting on his little brother all day. He always includes his little brother and "B" thinks he walks on the moon. They really do share a beautiful bond. My oldest almost always thinks of "B" first. They had been playing and running around all day being wonderfully behaved and helpful with our domestic chores. In the afternoon, our little dragon trainer- ASA our oldest, had asked for a special drink of chai tea mixed with almond milk. Almonds are on Bee's anaphylactic panel of allergies. So this is a very special drink reserved for "special mommy and me" times with our big boy.
Perhaps guilt from Saturday was guiding my decision. Perhaps it is the fact that my 6 year old acts 36. Perhaps it was just the blissful quiet of the day. Whatever the reason, I felt compelled to make him his special tea. I placed it in a sippy cup that I knew Bee could not mistake for his own, or drink from due to oral motor issues, and gave my very serious warning of "you need to hold this! Don't put this down! It can hurt your bubby. I am trusting you". He did perfectly and then he put his empty cup down on the counter by the sink, seemingly out of reach. Our little busy Bee walked by with his newly filled sippy cup of water and juice and saw his brother's cup. He quickly grabbed his brother's cup and tried to suck on it-- something he has never, ever done before. Luckily it was empty and he only got a little residue from putting the spout in his mouth.
I did not wait. I immediately grabbed the cup away from him, sat him down, and proceeded to get the epipen and benadryl. By the time I had gotten the benadryl in his system he had small hives on/around his lip. It was not a bad reaction, so I did not need to use the eipen. But, I was so MAD at myself for letting my guard down for even a moment. I should have never wavered from my "rules". I just wanted one day for the kids to be kids. One day at home where they did not need to think about it. One day, where they can eat and drink their favorite treats. I can assure you, it will not happen again. My rule remains the same- if it is an anaphylactic allergic reaction then that food or drink may not be consumed when the anaphylactic child is present- PERIOD.
My oldest cried, again. He is really not a child to cry often. But he cried, asking "Did I kill my baby brother? Do we need to rush him to the hospital. I am so sorry! I love you, Bee". After I reassured him his brother was ok and calmed him down, he said, "I want to tell you what it feels like to have an anaphylactic allergy from fire ants." (This reaction happened last year, prior to knowing he is anaphylactic to fire ants when he was 5).
"I felt like I was stuck under something heavy. My back got all tingly and then it moved up into my arms and neck. I felt scared but, then I saw Daddy and I thought he looked scared too. Then I started to worry about my friends too. I thought if I die, how will everyone at school feel? I do not want to die and leave you and Daddy and Bee, Mommy. My throat gets itchy and my fingers felt funny and I could not think straight. Mommy, I do not want to ever feel that way again! I would never allow "B" to feel that way either".
Too much reality after a blissful Sunday morning and afternoon.
Luckily this week has proven to be easier and we are now ALL using hemp milk or flax milk.
Tomorrow I will share fun ideas on how we get through the holiday season!